Hey y’all, sooo I’ve been MIA. I’m sorry, but honestly I’ve lost inspiration. After my post about online dating there’s been tons of stuff going on. I almost lost my job because of some of the thingsI wrote on the post. I’ve also been lacking inspiration. In May I went to California and visited my aunt and grandmother, while there I had a realization of how unhappy I was. At that point I decided that it was time to find another job.
In between looking for jobs, I also had some relationship blunders. I dated two men that ended up ghosting me and I hit rock bottom. Thankfully I have met an amazing man and we’ve been together since July. We met on OkCupid and we couldn’t be more different. He’s from Uzbekistan, Muslim, amazingly smart and an incredibly hard worker.
Then in August I finally got the call, I was offered a job with the metro government of my city to work with people who have experienced domestic violence, sexual assault and sex trafficking. I work with clients everyday, empowering them to get the justice they deserve. I also work with an amazing team that have given me the respect that I felt I did not have in my previous employment.
But even when all these good things were happening to me, this didn’t mean that my depression and anxiety was suddenly cured. I struggle every day. I still feel that I am not good enough or that I have not reached these insane goals that I set for myself. I haven’t traveled the world, I don’t own a Mercedes or a Chanel bag. I even noticed that my excessive makeup shopping (which I was masking as just “splurges”) weren’t filling that deep void that I have.
As a new year is almost upon us I have decided to make some changes in my life. I’ve been trying to eat healthier, go to the gym, try to curve my spending habits but I still need to get to the root of the problem. I am seeking help and hopefully will start 2019 on the right foot. I can’t promise I will post more frequently because I don’t even know if I actually want to continue blogging. I’m just going to take this one step at a time.