Hey y’all! So back in June I turned 25 and I had a quarter life crisis. I spent so much of my energy on working and school that I wasted so much of my time that I could’ve had fun, made friends and dated. Soo I decided to start ONLINE DATING! Since then I’ve been on tons of dates and they’ve been so crazy that I just HAD to document them. The first post in my “Online Dating Adventures” will be OkCupid.
I downloaded OkCupid first, I liked that you could do all these quizzes and they would match you with people, etc. It’s not as intimidating as Tinder or Bumble so I thought it was a good way to dip my toe into the dating world. I present to you: the OkCupid trio.
But first: WARNING!
The Kurdish Lizard
The first guy I met was A, he was 27-28, Iraqi Kurdish, had his own place, a good job, etc. We bonded about how difficult it was to adapt to a new country, our cultures and we also talked about sex. What I’ve learned throughout this journey is that you have to be straightforward on what you want because men need direction.
We texted and snapped for a week or so and decided to meet on a Saturday. When I saw his profile I liked his pics, he looked very cute. When I started receiving his snaps I noticed that this wasn’t really the guy I was talking to. I wouldn’t say that he catfished me, it’s just that I expected something different in person.
Another red flag was that he wanted to constantly text and you know what I was doing. Sometimes I would be working and I’m not answering text messages and I would get 4 to 5 texts asking what I was doing. The day we were supposed to meet he asked me to call him before I left my house, on my way there and when I got there. I arrived and I had not even taken my phone to text him that I was there and when I opened the door he was right there. I freaked the fuck out.
The person I was seeing was not technically the person from the pictures. The pictures were his but definitely from about 4 to 5 years ago. The guy I met in person was almost bald and looks like he was 35. We went to have lunch, and where I noticed that he was a little bit dominating. He wanted it to convince me that when I was ordering was not correct and that I should order what he was telling me to order.
Our conversation during the lunch was extremely awkward. I was still processing the fact that this was not the guy I was expecting. But in the middle of our lunch he actually got a phone call from his brother in Kurdistan. They spoke in Kurdish but I was able to understand that he said my name and the phrase “yes, from the pictures”. At that point I was a little bit uncomfortable because I did send him some nude pictures, and what was going through my mind was that he might’ve shared them.
As lunch was winding down he was trying to convince me to go back to his apartment with him so we could “fool around”. I made a half assed excuse that I needed to leave, and literally booked it out of there. On my way home I freaked out because his car was right behind me so I sped through the interstate to lose him. When I got home he texted me asking why I was acting weird, why I wanted to leave so fast, etc.
I basically told him the truth, saying that I just didn’t feel the physical connection, that I wasn’t attracted to him person and that I was sorry. After we met I did see him on tinder where he actually changed his profile pictures to more current pictures.
The Persian Fuckboy
The second guy I met on OkCupid was about 28 and we’ll call him H. He was a computer engineer that worked and studied at Vanderbilt, and had come to Nashville directly from Iran. To say that he was hot was an understatement. I was insanely attracted him and I couldn’t believe that guy like him would be interested in a girl like me.
We texted and snapped each other back and forth for about a week and a half before deciding to meet. On a Saturday he wanted me to go over to his place after a comedy show that I went to. I got home around 11 PM and since I live with my parents my parents literally forbade me to leave. We decided to meet the next day instead, at around noon he texted me his address. On my way there I was so nervous because I didn’t know what to expect
His apartment complex was across the street from my favorite pizza place in a fancier area in Midtown Nashville. I got there and I was just terrified the whole way from my car up to his apartment. When I met him in person I was glad that he did look like the guy in the pictures, but was shorter than what I expected. We talked for a little bit and then we decided that we were gonna watch a movie.
During the movie he wouldn’t try to get me to cuddle with him, wrapping his arm around me, kissing my neck, etc. I was a little uncomfortable because I was not expecting something so forward, but then what did I expect by going to his apartment. We started making out and it definitely got heated. At one point I did stop him and say “I’m not having sex with you” so he stopped.
After that he told me that I should leave because he “really needed to study” to which I responded if he was seriously kicking me out. He didn’t deny it, instead said “you really need to go”. Once I got home I shot him a text letting him know I was home safe and all he responded was “it was nice meeting you” and I never heard from him again.
The Azerbaijani-Italian DILF
So after the Persian fuckboy, I needed something different, that’s were D came in. He was 33, divorced and had a 2 year old boy. I was not as bothered about the kid as I thought I would be since I have been taking care of my nieces and nephews for years.
We had many things in common, he was looking to settle down and I am not into partying and hookups. He had his shit together: his own HOUSE, new car, stable job, etc. He was my dream man.
He lived close by and we went to the same places nearby. We met by chance at the Kroger parking lot and decided to chill and talk for a while. We talked for about an hour and really connected. We had decided to go out on a Saturday since I had a concert on Friday.
On Friday we were texting normally, nothing of the ordinary. We both had iPhones so our messages would be iMessages which come up as blue bubbles but all the sudden my messages were going through as text messages and not iMessages. I was having issues my phone so I thought that maybe it was me and I just didn’t think a lot of it, I knew that he was going to be at a conference all day so maybe he was busy. Come Saturday morning I still hadn’t heard from him, I kept texting him throughout the day and heard nothing back.
That point I was a little confused as to what could’ve happened, I forgot maybe something was wrong with his phone, or he lost it, etc. Then while I talking to my friends trying to figure out what could’ve happened and I realized it: he blocked my number. The motherfucker was ghosting me. Afterwards I sent him a message through OkCupid and didn’t get a response. I also downloaded Match at that point and guess who was on there too? D the DILF. Since we live in the same neighborhood I do see him every once in a while and at first I was salty/marinated/pissed. Now I don’t really give a fuck.
So there you have it: my first edition of my “Online Dating Adventures”. I know I’m not the only one who has gone through this and I won’t be the last. I hope y’all like the new direction I’m taking my blog and I would love to read y’alls feedback.